Women's Day - The Joy of Pregnancy

Mar 8, 2010 marks the second year anniversary of a certain tsunami in the Malaysian political ground . But  I will not ramble about that today...as today is also the International Women Day.

I am honored that there is a day dedicated to women - to celebrate our contributions to society. Ladies, your day might not be different from yesterday - it's not like we are getting free lunches or will be treated for a shopping spree by our other half. But somewhere, sometime ago, there were some geniuses who thought of celebrating us!

So what is so special of being a women ??? The most obvious - none of the men can do it - is off course, childbearing ability. Getting pregnant and then the birth of your precious is simply magic. Well...I might be exaggerating here. I mean it's not all sugar and spice and everything nice. There are ladies who are confined to bed-rest, those who had major morning sickness that seems to go on and on, and those who walk about with gigantic feet (thanks to water retention problem).

Alhamdullilah, my pregnancies were all quite smooth. The only hiccups were the food poisoning episodes which prompted my dearest doctor to warn me to ward off street food. And I did get the morning sickness -  whoever coined the term MUST know that the sickness is not confined to morning, but is throughout the day - mine was mostly at night. There were times when I dreaded brushing my teeth as I ended up throwing up the just-eaten dinner. Well, at least I can sympathize with the sufferings of those bulimics who needs to throw up every time they munch something!

And off course there was the uncomfortable third trimester - where you feel like a hippo - where lying down and getting a good sleep is a chore. I remembered the consistent (and not to mention painful) heartburn - I ended up sleeping with leg stretched and body resting on a pillow propped onto the bed's head rest. Yup I was actually sleeping, in a half-sitting position during the last month or month and half of the third trimester.


Thankfully....I did not get severe nausea nor the pregnancy-induced high blood or pre-eclampsia. Nor was I confined to the bed because of severe tiredness. I was healthy and enjoyed my pregnancy. And I did not actually ballooned. In fact I got a friend who commented that from behind, I did not look like I was pregnant!

While pregnant, I am sure well-wishers will shower you with old wife's tale, pantang larang and what not. Don't eat pineapple or else you'll miscarriage. What??? But I love pineapple...... So, Dr. dearest, can I still still have my pineapple ? Don't watch horror movie, else you get ugly babies! Don't kill any animal, else your baby will be born with permanent deformities. Fuh...I tell you, it was a scary stage!

Then came the scariest part of all - the giving birth part! For my first born, I actually went for an induced labour - as I was already over my estimated due date. And did I tell you that my dear Dr. does NOT believe in using epidural for first-time mother. Yup, she believes that a mother needs to feel the pain of giving birth - to appreciate the beauty of it. 

Beauty ??? The labour pain was excruciating. Waiting for one to come - and you know when one is coming - is even worst! Imagine  anticipating excruciating pain which comes every few minutes!!!  

 

And then the urge to push. I was one of the 'lucky' ones - in which being a primigravida - I had a baby with the biggest head. Yup, my first born head is bigger that his sisters'.

 

But you know what - all that pain really  disappeared - once that precious is put onto your stomach - all covered in blood and mucus! I guess Allah made us all mothers have a short memory - when it comes to labour and labour pains. If not, every women will only have one child - no way we  will want to go through that excruciating  pain over and over again!

The (Diminishing) Art of Writing

I attended a seminar yesterday - work related. As some of the materials provided did not cover the whole presentation, I resorted to jotting down some of the (me think) important notes. Mind you, I need to write fast - to make sure I did not miss anything.

So what's the problem, you ask ? Well, before I put the notes away in the (free) environmentally-conscious bag, I noticed something. The scribbles! Urrrggghhh....is that really my handwriting ? What happened to my handwriting ? 

I used to have quite a nice handwriting - I even got a friend who confessed that he liked my handwriting so much so, that he copied it and now, his students love it too! 

Some said that a lot can be read from ones handwriting. Mine was small, very straight, evenly spaced and I can even write on a blank paper as if there were lines on it!  Probably it reflects my need for my own space and how mingling with people who I do not know is top of my list of uncomfortable things. Plus how I used to have a slight 'monk' (more of that next time) in me.

But now...I'm happy if I can read my notes  (handwriting) ....hik..hik...Guess this is the results of modern technology (yeah, blame THAT!). Ever since started working, I was given desktop and later laptop - to do everything - from designs to filing (thanks to the paperless initiative). The keyboard replaces the ordinary pen and pencil and you found yourself typing faster and faster and now you even have digital signatures to acknowledge those documents!

Do you miss the simple (art of) letter writing ? I sure do...remembered when I was the in secondary school. At that time having 'pen pal' was the in-thing. Nowadays my kids' school has the 'PC-pal' program. Anyway, I used to have 2 pen pals - and we wrote to each other diligently. I remembered saving my weekly allowance (RM 2 per week!) to buy the RM1.20 aerogram. I simply love writing - and in a way it helped to polish my English. 

And what about you ladies ? I am sure you have had your shares of love letters (not the CNY cookie!). I used to get lots of those...yup, yours truly had a fair share of the love letters. Hmmm....those were the times.....

 

To Give or Not to Give....

It's interesting that I should come across the article last weekend. Being a skeptic, I read with interest. It's about charity and (the sometimes misuse) charitable funds.

We have heard about the prominent case, across the causeway. The person was found to misappropriate public donations to swan in luxury cars and lending money to his right hand man.

Do we have enough scrutiny on the charities in Malaysia? What about the code of conduct ? Audit ? What about enforcement ?

With natural disasters all over the world, we see a lot of fund raising activities...but because of inexperience, they often sought professionals to run things. However these professional 'fundraiser' often take up up to 80% of the funds raised - as fees for their service. Meaning that for a ringgit that you donated, only 20 cents goes to the intended beneficiaries. Huh! No wonder I am a skeptic!

It was also learnt that some charitable funds' detail showed that their trustees flew FIRST CLASS to PARIS for a 3-day meeting, staying in the POSH (and off course, extremely expensive) George V Hotel - courtesy of the money meant for the destitute!

Some of these do-gooders are also deep in debt - interesting, isn't it ? Urrgghhh....what if they set up the foundation to solve their money woes ??? Nobody scrutinized the creditworthiness of the foundation's CEO and his spouse - they might be riding the charity tag to dupe media into giving them a good spin. Which reminds me of something that I read quite some time ago - of the funds supposedly for the victims of 2006 tsunami - in which (part of it - a few millions, mind you!) ended up in a personal account and was never transferred to the intended victims!

Nowadays, people are becoming more creative - just to swindle (mostly money) unsuspected souls. They ride on others calamities....

Which brings us to the 'charity begins at home' saying. Well, if you are not born filthy rich, than you are sure to come across needy relatives. Help them first....if you can't find any, then make an extra effort - pass you donation directly to the poor. At least you won't be wondering, what really happens to the 10 ringgit that you donated!

Are You Kidding Me ???

Sighhhh....a couple of days ago - smack in the front page - a senior minister saying that he is surprised at the sheer number of foreigners in Malaysia. Guess it was after he saw the pictures of those foreigners taking over KL the day before.

It's common knowledge to you and me, but not him! Probably because they are always whisked in their limos to 6-stars hotel - with traffic police - that their feet is not on the ground anymore. Their life is always shielded from reality, from those who wants to make sure their bosses only hear sweet-things whispered into their ears. They sure don't exactly know what it is to be the man in the street, struggling to make a living...

And today, a similar story - a senior officer surprised at the acts of Malaysian drivers. Overtaking on double lines, cutting queues, overtaking in emergency lanes and riding on road shoulders. Haven't we seen them all - a long long time ago ? You have definitely seen them - especially if you have driven in KL or Penang or JB. But no....not the senior officer - the one that matters - the one that is supposed to set the rules. He has not seen them before!

Is it too much to ask? For them to go down to earth, once in a while ???

Blocked!

Arrggghhh!!!!! Imagine my horror when I found out that my fav social networking site has been blocked! I scrambled to submit my enquiries, plus sharing a piece of my mind on the employees portal!

Are they kidding?? Why can't we embrace technology and the revolving world around us ???

Another Bad (Driving) Habit

Yeah, I know...I know...I have just rambled about driving (I mean, Malaysian drivers) a few days back...but I can't help myself...Just yesterday, I had the honour of being stuck in traffic at the back of a car, whose driver was more intent on eating, than driving. The guy was eating - what else, it's CNY - mandarin oranges. First came out the seeds...off the window. Then it was the skin - flying off. And finally, the plastic wrapper!

Hmmm....where is the (civic) conscience of that driver ? I mean, I can still accept the seeds and the skins - they're organics and will decompose itself - but to throw the plastic wrapper ??? I doubt that a bio-degradable plastic is used as mandarin oranges wrapper. The plastic wrapper casually thrown out like that - will remain there, forever (until it is picked up by the municipal council's employees).

Why can't he just let the plastic be there (in the car) and dispose of it in a proper (garbage) bin? Hmm...it does reflect on the attitude of (some) Malaysians...

Heart Wrenching Sunday

It was supposed to be a lazy Sunday...but I woke up yesterday to a very heart wrenching news. Mr Hubby got a message from a friend - telling us that a friend had lost a daughter to dengue that morning.

We decided to pay our respect and condolences to the family. My heart was in knots, and I felt tears welling up. Once I was there, I saw the mum - who was very weak and looked so lost....I can't kept my tears anymore - especially when told that she lost 2 daughters in 2 days!!!!

It turned out that she lost her elder daughter in the wee hours of Saturday. The girl was having fever for a couple of days and unfortunately, diagnosed too late. She died of hemorrhagic dengue at the tender age of 4. While the elder sister was fighting for her dear life, the younger - 2 years old - sister was confirmed to be infected as well. As the family was preparing for the burial on Saturday evening, they were informed that the younger sister was then in critical condition. She succumbed to the hemorrhagic dengue in the wee morning on Sunday....

Being a mother myself, I can imagine the anguish the family is feeling. Losing not one - but 2 daughters - in 2 days - is a lot...What's more, the mum is still confinement - she had just delivered a bouncing boy, less than a month ago. Being in confinement, she is definitely not in a physical state to soldier on. I mean, there is no mother strong enough to accept that her angels are gone forever....But being a Muslim, we believe in Qada' and Qadar...we trust in HIM, as HE knows the best....Dari DIA kita datang, kepadaNYA kita kembali.....

I can still remember - the elder girl - a cute, cherubic girl - a friendly soul, just like the (eldest) brother. I still can't stop my tears from falling - every time I think about the family...

I have a similar story to share...

Back in 2004, my 8 mths daughter was having a restless night. She kept crying and almost inconsolable. We were worried as she is not the colic type. A day later hubby and another daughter had fever which went on and off. We were referred to a private hospital - did blood test - which confirmed that the whole family (minus the maid) had contacted dengue. The baby (bless her) was already in recovery. Our body were weak - with itchy joints and skins. We were slowly recovering, but not my eldest (3 yrs old) daughter. She was wheeled to Intensive Care as she had contacted the dreaded hemorrhagic fever.

Her condition turned from bad to worse... With the hospital running out of A+ blood, hubby appealed to his friends and subordinates. We were overwhelmed....a lot of our friends and hubby's engineers were at the hospital to donate the crucial blood. Families and relatives were also flying and flocking to the hospital.


At that time my daughter's conditioned worsened - her hair falling and liver swelling. I was by her side...I remembered her, begging me to bring her to her toilet to pee - she was toilet trained about 6 months before - refusing to pee in the urine canister. When we tried to lift her, she cried in pain - as her swollen liver hit her small frame. She refused to eat (coaxed by me, hubby and her fav auntie) and was getting weaker by the hour...

As I am writing this, I am crying...I remembered crying my heart out - inside - no tears outside - a brave front to my daughter to keep fighting. I remembered pleading to Allah, to give me and my daughter strength....

Alhamdullilah....my prayer was answered, after about 5 days in ICU, my daughter made a sudden turn, for the better...after more than 5 packs of blood, her platelets counts slowly increased and the swelling in her eyes subsided. After 2 days of recovery, she opened her eyes and asked for MacDonald!

We were told by our physician, that our daughter's case was the worst he had treated so far...and he was relieved that she made it through. He confessed that after 4 days, he was in despair...and had to ask for his colleague (a lady pediatrician) to be there for him - to give him the much needed moral support (plus double check whether he has done all that is possible). He likened the episode in which my daughter is already lost in a forest - and miraculously see the light at the end of the tunnel...

Until now, this pediatrician has a soft spot for my daughter...

As for us, we were blessed to be still given the chance to be with our daughter...I made it a point to cherish that - be thankful that we are a family that loves each other. I will try to fulfill their needs and wants...as you don't know what lies ahead...life is short - dunia in hanya pinjaman....